


home.

by chwegee



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I really love them, M/M, Self-Indulgent, i just wanted hansol to have a little anxiety attack and seungkwan help him through it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 05:30:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17616413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chwegee/pseuds/chwegee
Summary: seungkwan loves hansol.he loves the way that his eyes smile, even if his lips aren't. he loves the way that his whole body vibrates when he laughs. he loves that he can read him like a book. he loves him at his best, and he loves him at his worst.





	home.

**Author's Note:**

> this is self-indulgent as hell but enjoy <3

seungkwan loves hansol.

he loves the way that his eyes smile, even if his lips aren't. he loves the way that his whole body vibrates when he laughs. he loves that he can read him like a book. he loves him at his best, and he loves him at his worst. 

seungkwan is hansol's anchor sometimes, and he doesn't mind it one bit. he can tell when the latter is upset, sometimes even before hansol himself realizes it. he knows his signs, he knows his ticks, he knows what will set him off. he can tell when they wake up in the morning if hansol will have a bad day.

except for one day that he couldn't.

it started like any other day would for the two of them. seungkwan rose earlier than hansol did, and he didn't disturb his love's slumber. he just stayed in their bed, scrolling through his phone until hansol did eventually wake up and wrap his arms around seungkwan, burying his face in his shoulder. he mumbled a quiet "good morning," to him, and seungkwan didn't hesitate to return it. they laid like this for a while, seungkwan scrolling through his phone and hansol watching over his shoulder. 

they didn't move until they realized the time, which was close to eleven o'clock. hansol had promised seungkwan the previous day that he would take him shopping and out to lunch after, and seungkwan was definitely ready to spend hansol's money. (not that hansol really minded. he liked spending money on his boyfriend.) each boy took his own shower, each one complete with some (beautiful on seungkwan's part, not-as-beautiful on hansol's) singing, and each got himself ready in whatever other ways he needed to. seungkwan dressed himself in a pink sweatshirt and matching pink converse, with a pair of blue jeans to complete the look, and hansol dressed similarly, but with black as his color of choice. the latter put a beanie over his head, and the former kept his deep blue hair down with little styling. and so, the two went out.

hansol was all smiles almost the whole time, and seungkwan was, too. seungkwan practically skipped from store to store and aisle to aisle, and hansol ran along with him, carrying bags from whatever stores they got to before the current one. 

it wasn't until around twelve-thirty when seungkwan began to notice hansol's shift in behaviour. his smiles had been replaced by a neutral, almost saddening face, and his energy had slowly gone down. seungkwan finally said something about it after he had come out of a fitting room with a small stack of clothing he had just tried on and shown off to hansol for his opinion. "are you alright, baby?" seungkwan asked quietly as he walked towards where his love was sitting.

"i'm fine," was the only response he was able to get. seungkwan wasn't sure to believe it.

but they went on, buying the things from this store and walking on to the next. as they walked, seungkwan reached out for hansol's hand. it just fell right through his fingers.

that's when he knew something wasn't right. 

seungkwan grabbed onto hansol's wrist and began leading him back to their car, but hansol stopped dead in his tracks. when seungkwan turned, he could see the anxiety in his eyes. he tugged his wrist, and when he didn't move, he tugged it again, and began to walk. hansol was just pulled along. seungkwan felt how tense hansol's muscles were and he was barely touching him.

when they got to the car, seungkwan took all of their bags and put them into the trunk. he didn't hesitate to open the door to the backseat and get in. this was one thing that they had planned out, if hansol ever needed it. and when he got into the car after seungkwan, shut the door, and faced him, seungkwan knew.

he kept his distance, at least for a little while. he never knew how long it would take it to begin. it would start with hansol completely freezing, then go into shaky hands, and slowly progress into tears, and then into uncontrollable sobs and shakes.

seungkwan just looked at him, watching with soft, caring eyes. he watched as the tears welled up in hansol’s eyes, he watched as they fell, and he watched as they came faster and faster. he didn't move, even though it pained him to do so. it pained him to watch his love like this, even though he knew that what they had in place always worked and was always the safest thing.

seungkwan didn't move until he heard hansol's broken voice. it broke his heart when he heard him, an awful moan mixed in with gut-wrenching sobs. he stuttered, and he slurred, and it wasn't even really clear, but it was clear enough that seungkwan was able to make out the syllable.

"k-kwan..."

seungkwan instantly moved closer and wrapped his arms around hansol, who buried his face in his shoulder. seungkwan rubbed his back with slow circles, and he hummed softly. his sweatshirt was getting wet from hansol's tears, but he didn't care. right then, his sole purpose was to make sure hansol felt safe.

seungkwan wasn't sure how long they were like this. but he knew that hansol's sobs quieted down and his tears dried after a long while. hansol reached blindly for seungkwan's hand, and he grabbed it and squeezed it gently. with his other hand, seungkwan gently pushed his love's head to his chest. "breathe, love," he whispered, just barely loud enough to hear.

they stayed like this for a while, too, until hansol pulled away from seungkwan's chest with a small smile on his lips. his face was still a tiny bit wet and his eyes and entire face was a bright red. hansol leaned forward and pressed a small kiss to seungkwan's lips, and the latter smiled as well.

"let's go home," seungkwan said. 

"you're my home, seungkwan," hansol replied softly. "but yeah. let's go home. i wanna put on one of your sweaters and just cuddle for a while."

"cuddles and a movie?" seungkwan climbed over the center console of the car and into the driver's seat.

"cuddles and a movie." hansol did the same, climbing into the passenger's seat. 

when they got home, hansol went straight inside, changing out of his clothes and into one of seungkwan's sweaters, while seungkwan took the shopping bags out of the car and set them aside to be put away later. hansol picked the movie, and seungkwan made the popcorn, and the two cuddled their way through the rest of the afternoon.

seungkwan loves hansol. and seungkwan is hansol's home.

**Author's Note:**

> i randomly write drabbles and this is one that just popped into my head idk


End file.
